To be hard on yourself or to not be hard on yourself.

In my life, I have a couple of times where I decided that I will challenge myself and there were times where I would say that enough. And there are times where I literally slack off doing nothing that had to do with my dreams nor my achievements.

For a couple of weeks, I have been slacking off. I haven’t accomplished anything, I did not blog, I did not update my online store, I didn’t even look at my studies. All I did was sleep, game, and not using my time for the right activities. I chose to do this for no other reason than I don’t want to be productive.

I feel like crap. My body is stiff because I don’t get enough nor a routine sleep, my mind is filled with useless information and data that does not contribute to anything nor would it be useful for my future. I spend too much time playing games and spend too much money on useless shit. It’s not like I did not enjoy any of it, in fact, I did. This made me realized something important. I am giving myself too much leeway.

Anyway, let’s start our topic, to be hard or not to be hard on yourself. I have read a couple blogs indicating that being hard on yourself will cause dangerous aspects of to yourself. Which I do believe is true. If there is one thing that you should learn is that life is difficult. There are too many things you can do and there are too many paths you could walk. It’s impossible to learn everything, it’s impossible to develop yourself to be the perfect vision and it is also impossible to become the control it. Sometimes it’s better not to try.

Lets discuss being hard on yourself. You know, the moment you feel depress and lonely and you just want to go to the corner of the wall and cry?. Yeah, everyone has been there. The reason that you want to be hard on yourself is literally you want to improve. You probably read some books tell you that success is impossible without pain and that you need to give up certain aspects of life for your dreams and all the knowledge and motivation that you learn from other successful people. Yeah, so have I.

You pile up work, you continuously improve, you learn this then you learn that and it seems to be never enough. You just want to keep on doing more and more and eventually, you will probably end up being like me. Wondering, where the hell am I going? Then you wonder, is this actually going to reach my dreams? You wonder, is this even worth it? You think about the time you use on improving yourself and you think about the distance you and your social circle had become. You sit there and wonder “what exactly do I want?, do I have a path, is this right?” Then you look into the abyss and look it the endless journey that your life has. Then you realize. You have become someone that you don’t even know. Your actions cause yourself to change and you realize you don’t belong to your current social circle anymore.

So whats wrong with being hard on yourself? Aside from the fact that you are always telling yourself, you can do so much more, you can be so much more, and whatever you are doing just isn’t enough? And what is wrong with that? Let me tell you, the answer is absolutely nothing. Life is all about choices, everyone walks on a different path, nobody has the right to tell you that your life is wrong. (Unless you are doing drugs or committing a crime, that’s just stupid for a regular person).

People say this is negative thinking and negative thinking is bad for your mindset and that you should think positive. Well, improvement is all about self-confidence. Gaining self-confidence and having the ability to say “I can do it”. Isn’t that all we want? (aside from the materialism aspects, I want to be rich too).

“Well, if I don’t try hard enough I will never get there?”. Well, have you ever ask yourself. “Is the dream worth it for me to become like this?” If the answer is yes, then why are you listening to those people who claim that trying too hard is bad for you? If the answer is no, then upgrade your dream or don’t try as hard.

Life can go slow, every aspect of life is a scenery. It just depends whether you enjoy the view or not. Sometimes, it is okay to accept that you are only a human. And be glad, that you aren’t a monster.

Regards, Kiva.

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